gratitude shifts everything
I initially started this blog to share my little happiness secrets and in doing so, I have accidentally opened up about my mental health struggles. I didn’t plan to unravel like I have on here, but you need the bad with the good. I am a very happy and enthusiastic person and I’ve been told on multiple occasions that I give off camp counsellor energy! But the mental health stuff is part of that happiness journey. Happiness isn’t impossible because you have or experience anxiety & depression. That’s why I get super uncomfortable when people have pity about my very common situation. We all get sad, insecure, lonely, confused, jealous, worried and that doesn’t make us special! That’s not the most spectacular thing about us. I like to believe it's not...
Gratitude
On this beautiful Monday before Christmas, I wanted to touch on one of my newest happiness tips. I have mentioned gratitude as a way to combat jealousy and comparison. When you’re grateful about what you have and who you are in the present, you are not as occupied with what everyone else is doing, wearing, buying etc. And in doing this, you can appreciate the good in other people and in their lives as well as in your own. You can now support them from a place of love and that’s helpful because despite not seeing others face to face we do spend most of our time on social media. Training your mind to be grounded into the little miracles in your life is a great tool that keeps you content and aware of everything taking place internally, and not externally.
See with love
I have been following Gabby Bernstein’s work for about two years now and one thing I’ve learned is to see things with love. “I choose to see this too with love”. This mantra is something I’ve been using more and more as I emotionally and mentally mature. I talked about this in my last blog post about equipping yourself with the tools to deal with hard emotions in order to grow up: this lesson is part of that. Making the conscious choice of seeing things differently is part of that. To take responsibility for your choices, decisions, life and happiness is part of ensuring your own happiness. If you can admit it to yourself, you can rewrite it for yourself. "I choose to see this differently" helps to get out of victim mode and into a more forgiving mode. Things are not happening to me or against me, even if they are. We all have pain and when it shows up it doesn’t mean that we are unlucky. Choose to see that there is a bright side or a least a minuscule lesson in all of this. Beware of toxic positivity though, I’m not asking you to pretend everything is okay when they’re not; just to look deeper into your situation and see what you find. Maybe there’s nothing, maybe it’s just more negativity but do yourself the favour of sending love to your problem or even to yourself through forgiveness and self care.
Turning I have to into I get to (+The 3 Second Rule)
The third and final lesson of happiness that I keep very close to heart also has to do with changing perspectives (then again happiness is internal and nothing external will bring us happiness). But I stole this one from Mel Robbins’ The 5 Second Rule, she talks briefly about turning “I have to do this” sentences into “I get to do this”. Robbins talks about how we can shift our anxiety in 5 seconds by counting down by 5. I count down from 3 because in 5 seconds I can come up with excuses and talk myself out of waking up early, thinking positivity or not engaging a an argument. Count back from 3 and switch gears. 3,2,1 and let of jealousy, obsession or thoughts/behaviours that bring unhappiness. I count down from 3 and instead of "uhh I have to walk the dog again” it’s “I get the the privilege of walking my dog”, "I get to wake up early (at all actually)", "I get to make dinner for everyone", "I get to unexpectedly share", "I get to wash dishes and clean up after my family". When you do this everything is beautiful. A change in perspective makes everything beautiful.
I hope my little happiness secrets help create more pockets of happiness. Again, toxic positivity isn’t the goal here, admit your anxiety, your pain and your suffering don’t sugar coat it. But create mental escape routes to move past your thoughts and behaviours that get in the way of your happiness. Another thing is to know what your happiness looks like to start with. What does it look like when you cultivate an internal happiness? What makes your inner child truly come alive? And start removing the mental blocks that keep you from it. With Christmas a few days away, let’s be mindful that we already have everything we need. Our lives are beautiful, we just need to add some awareness, perspective and gratitude. Because gratitude shifts everything.
Merry Christmas loves,
