proactivity
woow busime i'm not even surprised...how did you expect your good habits to just pick up and your bad ones to dissolve without planning it out? Without being intentional? Without having a bigger why???
The clock struck midnight on new years and I felt calm and grounded as my family and I sat in sweats and ate pizzas with dirty kleenexs bunched up on our laps. Despite illness, I couldn't of been happier, it made me wonder why we ever leave our house for new years anyways...
I had spent the hours before transferring my new year intentions from my google docs to my journal. I chose 10 habits I wanted to build over choosing numerous general things I would like to be. For example, "I want to deepen my yoga practice by practicing daily" over "I want to get healthier". I listed my how under each resolution; 1. set mat by the door, 2. wake up 20 mins earlier etc. And listed my whys; 1. because I enjoy it, so allow yourself to do it and you'll never nail crow pose if you don't practice crow pose!
I have been doing light research on habits and have found a couple things I would like to incorporate. Last month, I read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey and that is where I'm going to be drawing a couple tips and tricks.
Covey starts off the book by talking about proactivity. The will to do the thing you want to do or the thing you are supposed to do. He talks about how finding your core can help make you more proactive. It's about identifying the core that you are currently operating from and aligning it to where you want to go. I found out during my reading that I am pleasure-centered and possession-centered person, which in my opinion is the deadliest combination!
I am aware that I do spend my days alone but never did I think I would get the most narcissistic core center of them all! Although this means I am able to treat myself and I allow myself to have pretty things; I am a tad dependent on it to the point that you can classify it as my center for existing. I don't make my decisions based on the other centers (money, family*, spouse, work, friends, enemy, religion culture etc.) but on my present gut feeling and what I can quickly get out of it, instant gratification.
*I do care and consider my family and friends but the book was talking more so about parenting and thinking about the wellbeing about one's own family.
Covey suggests that the best alternative to all the centers listed above, is principle-centered. It is moving from your mission statement, motto or mantra for life.
In that case, my center would have to be love. Cheesy but true. My mission statement would be to do all things with love, to leave people softer then when you found them and to be kind to one's self, our animal friends and the planet.
From here I can look back at my 2020 goals and vow to be nice to myself. To set goals that I enjoy and that don't harm me (like lift weights 5 times a week which I don't really enjoy anymore). I have to speak nice things to myself when my alarm goes off or, like this morning, look for positive posts that will give me that crutch of support.
Last night, I woke up at 3:30am and then again at 5:30 am. There was clothes, chargers and junk scattered under the covers and unfolded laundry at the foot of the bed. AND WHY IS MY PHONE NOT CHARGED. The more I laid there after snoozing my alarm the longer I had to think about how I didn't meal prep this weeks lunches, that I didn't wash my hair last night nor do I even remember falling asleep last night??? It's like I was transported from sunday at whatever o'clock pm to monday morning with no idea how to get though today. "I should just skip", I thought. I didn't though cause I'll just take myself on a guilt trip about it and will unconsciously give myself permission to slip up for the rest of the week. And that ladies and gentlemen is not the energy I wanted to start this week with. One of giving up or giving into the negative.
I would rather set this week and year on a foundation of "I have no clue what I'm doing but I'm going to do it anyways", "We'll figure this out as we go along" and "if I regret anything today I won't regret getting out of bed". I am aware that these intentions are very wishy washy, but that's how you get shit done. I think most of us and most of the time I personally bite on wayyyy more they I can chew. Or maybe that's where you are right now, maybe your intentions are "conquer the day and slay dragons" and to that I say "GETTT ITT" but i'll have to ease into it when it comes to conquering my demons that is my lack of or surplus of sleep.
To be proactive is to light a fire under you ass and get shit done! It's doing the things you promised, you hoped for and are supposed to do (like cleaning your room, hair and mind the day before a school week!!!). When you know your core values and the center from which you're operating from, it is easier to work your habits, priorities and decisions around your mission statement for this year or for your life. And when you mess up, it is easier to use love/loving energy as a gentle reminder to come back to your core mantra.
happy monday,