fear based vs love based
fear based and love based thinking and feeling have constantly been on my mind since reading Jen Sincero and since going through it myself. Perspectives are endless and we consciously or subconsciously choose them every time we go to make a decision. Unfortunately, we choose when we have a bad day, no offence. But the day of my birthday party, it was raining...hard, the power went out, I got rear ended in the Starbucks parking lot as I went to go pick up my balloon order, couldn't iron my dress because the no power thing, ate the saddest tuna sandwich again because of the no power thing and I tore a tiny thread in my dress as I hopped out of the car infront of the restaurant, late. I had the right to be upset as soon as I woke up to rain and thunder but I didn't, because nothing going's to get me down cause I'M TURNING 22 MOTHERNATURE, so try again. So I shifted my perspective about that and made a game of emptying out the fridge and freezer for the sake of saving food and money. So I based my day on love; for myself, and my friends who are still going to hike through this weather to spend time with me and my family who has helped me plan this. So love wins and I refuse to ruin this for myself!
Same thing goes for graduating this year. I am not going to cut my legs out from underneath me by doubting, sabotaging, panicking about the next 5 years of my life and just show myself some love by letting myself enjoy now and be here now with my present task which is to graduate, period. And that may make my goals sound lame and shortsighted, but that's where we are right now. That's what's at risk or what I'm putting at risk by not taking it a day at a time and dealing with what's right infront of me.
Fear based thinking and feeling versus love based thinking and feeling feat. an anxious me
Fear-based: "What are you going to do after? You're falling behind?"
Me: ...
Love-based: "School just started don't scare her about all that?"
Fear-based: "Well she is, I know it just started but we all know she's going to fall behind"
Me: ...
Love-based: "She's only going to fall behind or feel like she's falling behind if she listens to you"
Fear-based: "Even if she gets it right, she doesn't--
Love-based: "That's enough."
Fear-based: "She can't even--
Love-based: "Not another word"
Fear-based: "She doesn't know how to--"
Me: *tries not to cry*
Love-based: "She is fully capable of doing whatever the hell she wants, She has everything she needs to needs to succeed in this life, She is loved, wanted and needed, She is not defined by what you say, she is her own person able to forge her own path, She is has a big fat heart and deserves all the love in the world, She is also smart as hell and deserves all the opportunities...
Fear-based: ...
Love-based: And don't even try being low and bringing up non sense from the past or coming up with ways to sabotage perfectly perfect situations and relationships. She has a reliable and trustworthy support system so don't even try it.
Fear-based: OK OK I'M DONE, YOU HAPPY? YOU WIN!
Love-based: That's what I thought
Me: *Emotional Status: giddy, happy and hopeful*